Dear Raven Part 001

I was scrolling through my old blog post and I seriously missed how I literally used to write to you guys about everything and anything. So at the end of each week there will be a blog post that has an entry for ever day o the week explaining how I feel and the juicy details of what went down this week. And if you follow my YouTube channel i will also beposting a video at the end of the week on Sundays that has the same thing. overall i just think this will be so funny to take back on and it will hopefully help you guys get to know me a little bit better

 




Sunday February 18,2017

Today hands down is one of those days where I realize how I need to stop procrastinating. I have my college meeting for fidm on monday and all day today i have been working on my project, and tomorrow i have to drive to my school because i forgot my recommendation letter in my locker. Basically i am so under prepared for monday and it will look so bad if i don’t work my last-minute magic, but I’ll keep you guys updated. In the other words lets dig into my personal life something that i never talk about because i hate talking about my feelings. I am currently talking to this guy that I have met ( i am not going to say where) and i can seriously slowly fell us slipping apart and its so sad because we were supposed to hang out next week on friday i think or Saturday, i totally forgot what day we had planned. And other than that I am absolutely loving my new computer case it is so cute and i might do a review on it soon because i know that i love reading reviews on products before i buy them, especially if their from sites like Amazon that are low-key sus. I still dont understand the whole aspect of Amazon.
March 3, 2017

So what happened to updating daily raven? Honestly we all know that wasn’t going to happen but let me just try to update you guys won what happen in February and today anyway lol. So the thing with FIDM went pretty well and I have my last meeting this month, and honestly I think I will get in. I’m not trying to be cocky or anything but if the councilor thinks my project is A1, my grades are wonderful, and my family can afford it Im pretty set. Right? Okay yeah I am nervous but in the back of my mind I know it’s not going to be a problem. For the last hour or more I think, I have been writing blog post because I am honestly so tired of missing days and watching my blog that I have dreamt of literally turn into nothing slowly. And even though this little effort thing has boosted my blog views majorly I also think consistency will as well. March 3rd is a Friday and I am so mad because I had my whole weekend planned out but of course my mother had to be crazy and say I was lying about what I was doing and made me cancel. So I am sitting here beyond angry just writing to you guys. Have you ever had to cancel your plans last-minute? It’s honestly so annoying because gradually my friends stop asking me to hang out with them and think that I am making everything up. It also sucks because then people also think that I just don’t like them and dont know how to tell them I dont want to hang out when its not like that. Speaking of not being able to hang out, one of my friends in dance invited me to a Cole concert and I am so excited but I dont want to tell her if I can go just yet because I already know my mother is going to ruin it for me, but its in July so hopefully I can go. Omg, I just remembered its in July! When classes for FIDM start omfg I totally forgot! Hopefully I dont have class so I can go.

Then during practice on thursday my hip hop team coach admitted that she hasn’t been feeling the team for a while now, meaning that next year unless anther coach can take over their won’t be a hip hop team. To say that I am upset is an under statement because I partially feel like its my fault. When she was telling us she said it’s because of personal issues and her mental health, she suffers from anxiety but a situation happen months prior that I feel horrible for.


So one day after practice the ex captain came up to everyone asking if they wanted to perform during the pep rally. And before this everyone was saying how they don’t like the choreo, including myself. So of course I said I don’t like the chores so no I dont want to preform but I didn’t mean it so literal! Do you know how many times I didnt want to do something but I have to do it anyway because its my responsibility and after its done, I’m so happy and proud that the unwell to do the task is far gone. As well as this I also told the ex captain ( because we were friends at the time) that I felt like the coach wasn’t taking us seriously because of how many times practice was cancelled last-minute but her other teams practice resumed, and that she always choreographed on the spot. If a coach did that wouldn’t you feel the same way? I admit that I shouldn’t have been talking about my coach like that because it’s just disrespectful but I was just ranting, it’s not like I actually meant it to hurt her feelings. Well soon enough I did just that. A couple of days later we had our basketball performance. As always I was so hype cracking jokes until the ex captain came up to everyone with the same drama and asking the same question. Me not taking it seriously said i dont want to preform ( like an idiot) and before I knew it she was going back to the coach to tell her.

Their we are 5 minutes before we go on having a meeting about how coach knows what we said and how for now on she wouldn’t be choreographing, as well as if we don’t want to perform we dont have to. So everyone including myself who said they didn’t want to preform was like, yeah I want to preform, that’s what I am on the team for. And their was the ex captain feeling betrayed, but no one told her to tell coach that in the first place, ESPECIALLY FIVE MINUTES BEFORE WE GO ON. So here hip hop team is feeling like shit while the other half is confused as to whats going on. Later the ex captain goes in the bathroom crying or something talking to her best friends and sister, then when I was going to come in I hear he sisster say now you know who your real friends are or something along those lines. And next thing I know I am being called fake for not telling coach that her chororeo sucked, but in my opinion… who was the ex captain to say anything in the first place/not tell her that this was her intention to tell coach…..

So even though we still preformed, while everyone felt like shit because we just all argued and made our coach cry five minutes prior we still did somewhat good. But ever since then the team hasn’t been the same, and I still feel horrible for my coach because I should’ve kept my mouth shut. So now with this information coming out that she feels extra anxious during practice and with this team I can’t help but feel like its me who made her feel like crap or that way, and I can honestly never forgive my self for that. And honestly just typing this makes me tear up because I know I seriously hurt her, or contributed to it.

But wow that got deep real fast. So yeah I’m just sitting here blogging about my boring day/reliving terrible memories on a Friday night…. I cannot wait until High School is over!

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